맹간 선생님의 마지막 연설

 

지난 2009년 2월 25일 필립스 엑시터의 영어 선생님이신 Mr. 그레그 맹간(Greg Mangan)이 타계하셨다. 현열이가 2007년 엑시터를 졸업할 당시 선생님은 암과 투병을 하고 계셨었는데, 당시 졸업반 학생들이 마지막 만찬에 키노트 스피커로 맹간 선생님을 초대했었다. 선생님은 학생들이 엑시터를 떠나게 되면 무엇을 놓고 가는지 이곳 계절의 미묘함과 학교에서 평상시 느끼지 못했던 것들을 다시 한 번 확인시켜 주셨다. 학생들은 모두 그의 연설에 감명을 받았다. 그로부터 1년뒤 현열이는 선생님에게 연락해서 연설문 사본을 보내주십사고 부탁해서 받았다.  사본 뒤 부분에 선생님은 현열이에게 Albert, Thank you, I hope this talk sustains you through the peaks and valleys of your days. (현열, 고맙다.  나는 이 연설문이 네가 힘들때나 좋을때 너를 붇잡아 주는 힘이 되어주었으면 한다.)라는 글을 써주셨다.  

   엑시터에서는 선생님이 돌아가시면 학교 벨 타워에 조기(Half Mast)를 1주일간 계양한다. 선생님의 대한 마지막 예우이다. 모든 학생들로부터 사랑과 존경을 받았던 선생님이었기에 돌아가시자 마자 학생들은 Facebook에 카페를 열고 그를 추모하는 글을 올렸다. 현열이도그곳을 통해 본인이 갖고 있던 연설문을 동료들에게 보내주었다. 아래는 맹간선생님이 2007년 졸업반 학생들에게 주셨던 연설문 전문이다.

 

   I stand before you a happy and grateful human being. Moreover, I find it a privilege and an honor that you would invite me to share in your success and celebration. You see, when I was cowering in the belly of the beast this December, little did I dream that I would see the sun high in the June sky. I must tell you, at this point, I do not intend to be a Debbie Downer in this talk, nor do I wish to load you with heavy ideas anchored in moldy abstractions. Instead, I want to talk about real stuff that will stay with us forever, and those are our memories, because there is nothing higher and stronger than those memories as students. And frequently those memories are contradictory and inconsistent. It is important, nevertheless, to remember more often than not those things rooted in contradictions and inconsistencies, are not signs of weaknesses, but indications of our character, a crazy quilt of muted tones, rather than primary colors.  Those polarities synthesize, just as black with white gives us grey; our lives are a canvas Monet would appreciate, and we become the summations of our contradictions and our memories.

   For example, I sometimes go home and listen to Duke Ellington or Beethoven and I am transported to a place where every fiber of my being is in harmony with the universe.  There are other times where I will go home crank up the CD and groove to Pimp, Candy Shop, and In The Club and I imagine myself transformed into the baddest player on the seacoast. I must tell you whenever I drive through Conn. I try to drive by Fifty Cents' house.

   So let us go then, you and I, through the months of the school year, and mine, recent and distant memories that shine a light on who we are, and what, in the future, will sustain us....  For many of you, I am sure that April is the cruelest month, and September is the most glorious month. In September, the school is your oyster; you greet old friends and can't wait for the first assembly, when you hear Senior Class. Now recall your first day ere, whether it was last September or four Septembers ago, When everything seemed so big, now it just seems ordinary, when during those first few weeks you went to every breakfast and made every eight clock class, when on that first night you lay awake checking the clock every fifteen minutes maybe looking outside and hearing the chatter and laughter of the night hawks in the other dorms.

   And with the coming of October, you were more settled. As a new student you went to the dances, and as veterans, you checked out the dances.  As a new student you walked with your new found friend across the field avoiding conversation, looking at the stars and anticipating that first kiss.  As veterans you just said, wanna go to the stadium? The first Halloween, you spent hours cutting pasting drawing and telling everyone within ear shot how your costume will be awesome. Your last Halloween assembly just before you left your room, you threw a sheet over your head and said you're a ghost.

   With November, you anticipated the first big vacation. If this was your first Academy vacation, when you first got home you called your old friends from the neighborhood. If this was not your first you, called your friends from the dorm or your classes.

   December found you waiting for the end, waiting to go home to sleep, do college aps, write the RAL and just chill

   on your return in January, you discovered yourself in the maw of winter. You noticed everyone had their heads down and walked in a straight line,.. that's because a straight line is the shortest distance between two points. Some have said that January is the month of thinkers.  That is true if you also believe what a wise man once said,...Show me someone who thinks and I'll show you someone who frown.  January, then, may be the month of the mind, where everything that happens, happens from the eyebrows up, even though sometimes the discussions around the table are as slow as maple syrup, landing on a Belgian waffle. And those omnipresent frowns weigh down our heads so much, we all appear to have the intensity of five year olds hoping not to step on a crack and break our mother's back.

   February is the shortest month, but it always feels just as long as January.  It is a little lighter, but just as cold, and the winds howl between Elm St. and the library. During this month, we do not care about the architecture of the clouds. We want facts that must be clear as salt and pepper. And like fishermen sitting on a dock, we are content to let the wind do all the talking. But there is an odd sight in January and February that defies all logic. Why is it during these two months the coldest of the school year, we see at Sunday brunch, the most people ever, in pajama bottoms?

   In March, we have the promise of Spring, and we hope we are not stranded here by a sudden snow stom. on our return we expect warm April weather, Not so. Cold, wet rain is our steady diet. That does not stop many of us from wearing shorts and flip flops, despite the thirty degree temperature. Soon, however, the days begin to agree with our choice of clothing, and there is the turning point, where discussions richochet around the table; disappointment is a distant memory, the days are longer, and April gives way to those first soft May evenings, where conversations are more intimate, and like September, May is s glorious month. 

   In May, we have splashes of fuschia, blue, and white blossoms, surrounded by green, with a promise of beginnings, that inspire rainbow dreams, where the heart beats faster, and the lush lilac scent perfumes the air, whereas in September, we look forward to be embraced by reds and yellows, that preface the comfort of golden sunsets. So just like the polarities of school year, so too, will be your memories.  When I feel sorry for myself for example, I think of the quiet courage of my friend and colleague, Ed Fry, When I don't understand something, I recall one of you explaining string theory to me, or more recently when two of you shaped an explanation of the last paragraph of on THE ROAD, that made it complete.  And finally, finally, I understood why Kerouac could say that God was pooh bear. So remember for every failure, there was a success, for every disappointment there was a hope, and for every dismal paper, there was one that rocked, but more importantly, for every time you felt alone, there was someone in the hall, around the table, on the path, that assured you with a hand, a nod, a smile, we'll all in this together. And when down the line, you feel your life is dry as a potato chip, remember your time here, and on Sunday when the last name is called, and the Academy bell starts to ring, make sure it never becomes a soundless ding dong, but rather, like a turning fork, it resonates in your imagination and conjures up memories that are a measure to all that was rich, vibrant and comforting.  Again I thank you for inviting me to be a part of your great day, and, now, I say to you my brothers and sister, Godspeed.

 

세계 1%를 꿈꾸면 두려움없이 떠나라 .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skw6Nv8pSlY