Albert H. Pak
Back in 2008, I delved into the world of boarding schools as well as Albert’s experience attending Phillips Exeter Academy(“Exeter”) in my book entitled, “To Reach the World’s Top 1%, Leave Home Without Fear.” I am aware of how bold the book’s title was at the time – my implicit claim was that these schools could be a launching pad for a life of leadership and purpose. Ten years have passed since Albert’s graduation from Exeter, and readers may be wondering what has happened since then. Has he gone on to make millions of dollars as an investment banker on Wall Street? Or, is he rising the ranks at tech firms like Google or Facebook? Ten years seems to be a sufficient amount of time to revisit the thesis of my book, and to see the kind of life Albert has gone on to lead since his days at Exeter.
To get right to the point, Albert is at the precipice of a new phase in his life. This year, he will be turning thirty and graduating with a J.D. from the University of Pennsylvania Law School and an M.P.A. from the Woodrow Wilson School at Princeton University. He, along with thirty current and former law students from the top law schools across the country, received a public interest law fellowship from Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom LLP, one of the most decorated law firms in the U.S. The Skadden Fellowship is arguably the most prestigious public interest law fellowship in the U.S.; among those in the legal community, it is known as the “legal peace corps.” Through the Fellowship, Albert will be going to Detroit for two years to serve low-income entrepreneurs and small businesses.
One of the greatest assets of the Skadden Fellowship is its alumni network of over 800 Fellows, all of whom are making a major impact in the world. They have gone on to represent the most disenfranchised communities in the country and assume positions of leadership in the social sector. Among them, 12% became law professors and 13% became government officials. Before receiving the Fellowship, Albert worked at Covington and Burling LLP in Washington D.C., currently home to former Attorney General Eric Holder. Facing a fork in the road, where on one side was a top law firm and on the other, the life of a public interest lawyer, Albert chose the latter.
While every parent wants the best for their kids, how that looks is very different for each child. In my case, I wanted to observe and understand his innate skills, ability, and aptitude. When he first tried out for his neighborhood soccer team, I saw a glimpse of his potential on the field. As a result, I sent him to numerous soccer camps and sought out the best teams and coaches under whom he could train. When Korea hosted the World Cup in 2002, I took thirteen-year-old Albert with me to watch the games. The trip was an abrupt decision, made only a few days before the World Cup began, and followed a tight schedule, departing on Friday night and coming back the following Monday morning. I will never forget the moment when Ahn Jung-Hwan scored the winning header against Italy and the entire stadium, filled with my Korean brothers and sisters, erupted in celebration. I know that that day will forever stay with him as well.
When Albert was a ninth grader, I sent him to Bolivia to train at the renowned Tahuichi Academy, where he ran barefoot on sand dunes and competed against players from around the world. I was excited to learn when Albert was selected for the U-17 New Hampshire soccer team. In the days before Uber or Lyft, I would make regular 12-hour roundtrip drives up the East Coast so he could attend his two-hour practices. We made the most of these trips, on which a father and his son could spend precious time together and share our views on life. It didn’t matter how long it took or how far I had to go, if I could give Albert a priceless experience, I was committed to moving mountains for him.
During his middle and high school years, Albert visited destitute areas in Central America and Africa as a student missionary in order to experience how people lived in other parts of the world. He told me a story of how one time he visited the Masai villages of Kenya. on one of the last nights he was there, the locals slaughtered a goat as a celebratory meal for their visitors. As he was enjoying the festivities, out of nowhere one of the Masai people asked him if he’d like to try the goat’s intestines. Caught off guard, Albert looked at what was being offered and realized he had a decision to make. He could politely decline, which would have been acceptable for an outsider to do, or he could take the offer and risk whatever bodily repercussions may follow. He took the intestines and swallowed them in one bite, to the cheers of all the onlookers.
Albert would go on to write about this experience in his college essays, which described how this bold bite led to a deepening of his relationship with the people there, and how the stomach problems that did eventually follow were well worth it. Even though Albert was consistently at the top of his class growing up in his hometown, he fell within the top 30% at Exeter, by all means an average to an above average student at best. However, Exeter’s philosophy of “non sibi” or “not for oneself” would become etched into his character and be the true yardstick against which his life would be measure.
After high school, Albert matriculated to my alma mater, the University of Pennsylvania, where he majored in Finance at the Wharton School and East Asian Area Studies at the College of Arts and Sciences. In order to learn about the politics, economy, and history of East Asia, he spent each of his summers in either China or Korea. During the summer between his first and second year of college, Albert spent three months learning Chinese at Beijing Normal University, where he was forced to speak only Mandarin Chinese for the duration of his stay. In the northeast Chinese city of Hunchun, he taught children with disabilities and even had the chance to climb Mount Baekdu, where he was awed by the magnificent view of Lake ChonJi and the history surrounding that sacred place.
During his junior year of college, he studied abroad at Korea University as an exchange student and experienced everything from watching the legendary Korea-Yonsei University Games to playing four-ball and eating jjajjangmyun at the local pool halls. The best that I could provide Albert during his stay in Korea was to set up meetings between him and my friends and colleagues who were leaders in government, the nonprofit sector, and finance. I didn’t have extravagant gifts to give them for offering their time to my son, so instead I hand-drew portraits of each of my friends and instructed Albert to give them to everyone he met. Taking his Penn studies about East Asia, he went to Korea and China and truly left no stone unturned. He saw both the beautiful and ugly sides of each country and came back with a holistic understanding of the region.
I hope that this piece doesn’t suggest that Albert or my wife and I are perfect; we are far from it. We have faced many difficult moments over the years and will face many more in the years to come. There have been times when we have stepped up to the challenge and countless others when we have fallen far short. Each step, and misstep, has been a part of the learning process. It would also be inaccurate to say that Albert has had to earn every advantage he has – he was born with a certain measure of athleticism and intellectual ability. My wife and I have been very careful not to impose our will upon him, we have always tried our best to suggest different opportunities and let him decide the path to follow. For us, this hasn’t required a tremendous financial commitment, but rather an investment in time and energy. We were able to send him to places like Exeter and Penn because of generous financial scholarships Albert was able to receive; for a middle-class family like ours these types of institutions would be otherwise inaccessible.
Growing up in a household of modest means has played a role in Albert’s upbringing. I still remember one time when this became abundantly clear. We were invited to a Penn alumni function at one of my former classmates’ house. Albert was in awe of the luxury cars lining the driveway and the massive house standing magnificently behind them. As we drove in with our beat-up Hyundai, Albert was worried about the embarrassment I would feel for not driving in with a similarly luxurious car. I learned this fact from one of his high school essays written long after that day. I am amazed that such a young child would be so aware of wealth disparity. Over the years his understanding of wealth and value have since matured. He often tells me that although we weren’t rich, he had everything he ever needed growing up – chief among them a loving family. I often took care of the external matters of our children’s lives, such as paying the bills and filing paperwork, while my wife primarily oversaw the raising of our kids. She reminded them always, in a way that only mothers can, of just how much they are loved.
Recently, Albert attended a Skadden Fellowship reception in New York City. At the event, the Skadden Fellowship Director, who had interviewed Albert a few months prior, came up to him and asked, “Were you born in the United States?” When Albert told me this story, I thought he was going to say that the Director had thought he had a Korean accent from growing up in a first generation Korean-American household. However, what he said next took me by surprise. When he told the Director that he had been born in Queens, NY, she said, “Good, in that case, you can become President without having another ‘Kenya incident’.” Although Albert’s legal and public policy education often solicits remarks about his potential future in politics, he has never considered that path seriously. After the Director said these words to him, he searched her eyes to see if she was joking. When he saw that she was completely serious, a sudden nervousness began to creep through his body.
Among Skadden Fellow alumni is U.S. Senator and Democratic Party leader, Cory Booker. Senator Booker is a Stanford, Yale Law, and Oxford (Rhodes Scholar) graduate and then went on to become a Skadden Fellow in Newark, NJ. He is currently among the front-runners for the Democratic nomination in the 2020 Presidential election. When I think about the Director’s comment in light of Skadden alumni like Senator Booker, I can’t help but think that the she must have seen something in Albert during that interview, a foreshadowing glimpse of a future in leadership.
In addition to thriving academically in college and graduate school, Albert has always dedicated his time to volunteer work and student groups on campus. If Albert had spent all of his time studying instead of remaining active in the community, he might have received better grades. However, that wouldn’t have been true to his character. In the years leading up to his graduate studies, Albert worked for a start-up education nonprofit that served one of the poorest neighborhoods in Philadelphia. Wherever he goes, he looks for people to support and causes that he can get behind. I always tell Albert that whatever he does, he must strive to touch the lives of the people he serves. And, whenever life gets too comfortable, we must think about the people who are awaiting our help and see how we can meet their needs. I assure him, with a wisdom formed slowly over time, that when he becomes my age and looks back on his life, one that says “I lived for myself and my family” will never bring as much fulfillment as one that speaks “non sibi,” “not for oneself.” If that is the story his life tells, his will have been one well spent.